NDG Book Review: ‘Grieving is Love: Living with Loss’

By Terri Schlichenmeyer

It happened so fast.

One minute your loved one was talking, laughing, alive – and the next minute he was gone, as if a thick line was drawn somewhere between life and unlife. Even if you had time to prepare, time to get used to their imminent death, it happened too quickly. We must continue without them… but how? In the new book “Grief is Love” by Marisa Renee Lee, you’ll see what might be next for you.

So you recently lost someone and the fog hasn’t lifted yet. You are in disbelief and your closest companion is grief, which Lee describes as “the experience of navigating your loss, figuring out how to deal with the absence of your loved one forever” while refusing to live without love. of the one you’ve lost.

Lee says she was “a strong black woman, a type-A activist” in the wake of her mother’s death, and she felt she had to put her feelings aside and bounce back quickly. She didn’t give herself the chance to understand her emotions, including guilt and anger, and stifling them only made things worse. She realized that she needed permission to cry and to feel, in a way that felt right to her.

She also needed to find a place, physically or emotionally, where she felt safe to grieve. This, she says, is especially difficult for black people and for men in general who may have vulnerability issues.

She’s learned that grief isn’t a timeline or a must-have; it can be a life-long process that can come back to surprise you, even at the most inopportune times. Anxiety, depression, and mental illness can also hit you when you’re grieving. the same goes for deep, fierce anger, as Lee learned.

Don’t be afraid, she says, to reach out to people you can trust to help carry your burden. Also, don’t be afraid to set boundaries when needed. And finally, remember that you will be changed by someone’s death because “you are their mark on this world.”

You are their legacy.

More than 6,000 people die every day in the United States. You are only affected by one of them. “Grief is Love” helps you endure.

It may take a bit of checking, though. Author Marisa Renee Lee uses so much of her own experiences in this book that grieving help for readers may not initially seem as readily available as you might expect. Even so, there’s a lot to glean from her stories because she’s honest about her journey, her various feelings, and the bumps along the way. Readers who are grieving will also be greatly comforted by his assertion that your person is dead, but the love you shared never will be.

Lee reminds readers that the joy will eventually return and that sounds more like a promise than anything, that’s all you could ever need from a book like this. For you, “Grief is Love” is just for when the worst thing has happened.

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